Feeling abit down. I think it might be because of the rain.
I can’t find the ring my mother bought for me. My watch has run away on me. I have cramps. I feel utterly miserable. Worse, I’m pretty sure I cause my own misery, which means I have no one to blame but myself.
I can’t wait until next week, when he will be here. That’s right, he bought a plane ticket because he missed me and wanted to be by my side. I feel the minutes crawl by me mockingly, to savour my torment as it cracks a smile at my gloom.
There are a gazillion things that is happening at work, but when I work I feel as though I have nothing. An ironic thought; I dip my hands into the paperwork and search until I find something else. I am slowly submerging into a state of panic because I love my job but I don’t know what could happen to me the month after. I have so much to learn but I don’t know whether I will be able to keep learning with my team. I hate it that this uncertainty is draping its covers and smothering me.
There are things I want to happen, and they are moving at the speed of… Well anything but light. More like seeing the Earth rotate. Alot like watching grass grow.
I know I shouldn’t let myself fall down this track. It’s nasty to wake up feeling hell, so I will spin that coin and see the flip side to things. I will work hard and do what needs to be done. Sure, there are bad times but I cannot stick my head in that sand of bad. I must look up to the other part of that horizon and see the sun and moon, and everything in between.
BLOODY HELL I AM GOING TO BE FREAKING MISS SUNSHINE. Just going to think that I can do it, I will do it, I MUST do it.
FIGGGGHHHHTTTTTTT ONNNNNNN!!!
